We live and we love for Ray and all those that face loss.

Was having “tea” at the Finnerty Express at UVic at three – and was visited by “Ray” a lovely 80 year old retired RCMP officer that lives in the area and often pops in for a coffee.

He had some bad news today. His wife of 50+ years passed away after a wicked battle with cancer.

He seemed to be taking it OK but reminded all of us to embrace the living… “Go home and hug your wife (or husband) tonight. Celebrate life when you are among the living…”

I have been offering condolences a lot lately and I guess (I know) that this is part of life. And it is especially important to embrace those who have experienced loss… like Ray.

We reminded him to drop into the cafe often, that we are here for him – and we are.

As he got up to go, we all shook hands… you know, the two handed more intimate form of the hand shake. I wanted to give him a big hug but wasn’t sure.

His last words were, “What am I going to have for dinner tonight? That is the awful thing… I can only drink so many bowls of mushroom soup…”

My heart goes out to Ray. I know all about loss but loss is something that is constant and omnipotent. But we must keep living and loving while adapting to loss. I cannot imagine going home to an empty space – my life is so truly blessed with a loving and devoted wife, and so many wonderful friends. It all really makes me appreciate the importance of the moment. The now.

It took a couple of hours but when I got home and had a glass of wine and some potato chips in my mouth (it is a ritual), I had a good cry – all that pent up grief coming out.

(But) You have to keep moving forward. People will come and go. It is part of life. Love the ones you are with. Pray for the departed. But most of all, embrace the living while they are on Earth.