Rites of Spring #12b – Espresso, you wicked mistress-2

Espresso machines. Why do they trouble me so? Why? WHY?!?

It all started one dark day a few years ago when a friend (Jak) of mine showed up at my door – something of a John Locke doppelganger from the hit TV show Lost – waving 500 dollars in small bills in my face.

“Colin, I understand your frustration with espresso… and you have taken your Silvia as far as any mortal man can. Trust me, Colin… I know about mortality. Seriously…”

As Jak slipped his hunting knife back into his man-bag after slicing off a healthy serving of pineapple… and scratching his tell-tale scar above his left eye he continued…

“Just think what you could do with 500 extra smackers this weekend Colin? Just think…”

Before I knew it, my Silvia was gone and my wallet was unfoldable in that George Costanza kind of way.

Money. But no espresso machine.

And I knew.
I had just cursed myself… to a life time of espresso misery.

Sure I try and break out of it… a Giotto here, an Oscar there, a Rocket Cellini here…
Oh, who am I fooling?

So. After getting the Red Dragon back from a long term loan… and firing it up… and burning through lord knows how much coffee trying to squeeze out that elusive shot…
I knew I was done for. Time for that machine to go.

Think you are worthy? Send me an e-mail telling me why this espresso machine must be yours. Espresso machine will include a tamper and some instructions on its use.

UPDATE – We gave away this machine several weeks ago – thanks for all your entries!

And may the lord of the bean have mercy on your soul.
Disclaimer – All espresso machines are evil. This one in particular? Look at the color!

The Red Dragon Espresso machine was hand re-built by Colin Newell of Coffeecrew.com and powder-coated fire engine red under the watchful eye of tamper-meister Reg Barber. It is the only espresso machine on the Planet Earth with creation input from Reg Barber. And it could be yours.