There are two kinds of creatures that live and work at the University of Victoria; invertebrates (that run the place…) and rabbits (in the family Leporidae of the order Lagomorpha…) that have the run of the place.
The most recent body count indicated that there are over 1000 rabbits on campus – and none of them have any intention of graduating.
Because in the world of the rabbit, there are only three states:
Thinking of humping.
Humping.
And smoking a cigarette afterward.
Yes, they poop. A lot.
And dig holes.
And destroy stuff.
But it’s a harmless crime folks – because there is little, if any, intelligent life at UVic… at least from what I have seen in my 20+ years working there.
I am, of course, discounting the hard working staff (Union and professional) and the tens of thousands of hard working students self-improving to make a better World.
I am talking about the decision makers – you know, the Vee-Pee’s and executives that run the joint… whose motto is: “If it ain’t broken… break it!”
Who are generally so wishy-washy about, well, everything that they could not run a 15 cent lemonade stand without running it into the ground worrying about the actuarial implications of running a lemonade stand.
I mean, listen up… On a weekly basis I see young families bring their crawling age toddlers onto campus for the specific purpose of crawling around on feces covered green to play with the rabbits. Hello: Risk of disease. Risk of rabbit bite = 2 days of treatment in the local hospital, blah blah blah.
I give up. Maybe this is just natural selection at work.
Bottom line: The administration at UVic is utterly incapable of coming to a decision on the issue of the rabbit copulation explosion. They can’t do it. They are not built for it.
In the meantime, the rabbits screw and reproduce, dig and crap everywhere placing staff, students and toddlers at risk.
I spoke with a lovely and elderly Scottish lady with a support dog at the Finnerty Express last week… and in her intriguing Edinburgh beam me up Scotty brogue said… “All we need are a dozen Jack Russell terriers… Aye? Problem solved!”
I felt like offering her an executive VP job.
In the meantime, watch your step.