Spring into flu – and other media created illnesses – part deaux

I have you now James Bond! Nyah ha ha ha ha heh ehe heh heh!

10 reasons you know you might/might not have swine flu!

  • Number 10 – It’s Friday. 99% of cases appear on Fridays.
  • Number 9 – The sun is shining. You feel good. Don’t be deceived – you are not well!
  • Number 8 – You partied on Thursday night and your throat is sore the next day. It’s swine. Stay in bed.
  • Number 7 – You had a pulled pork sandwich at your favorite BBQ joint. You feel queasy. This is swine flu.
  • Number 6 – You really don’t want to go to Mexico with your girlfriend – that anxiety you are feeling? Swine.
  • Number 5 – You woke up next to a stranger you met at a Vancouver club. Is this swine? No but you are crazy.
  • Number 4 – Home sick. Updating Facebook. Boss catches you. You’re fired. Swine.
  • Number 3 – You find yourself in an actual James Bond movie… but it is not a movie, it’s real – and James nemesis, Fang, has locked you into a mysterious machine that makes you look sexy and 60’s retro chique… Swine.
  • Number 2 – You have just smoked 3 cartons of Lucky Strike and are not feeling so lucky anymore… and we all know smoking is harmless
  • And the number one reason you may or may not have swine flu…
  • You haven’t had a weekend off since Christmas… and something had to give!