Surfing Vancouver’s crime wave – bullets chapter #1

There was yet another round of gun-play in Suburban Vancouver, this time involving two vehicles circling each other through a Shell gas station and a Tim Hortons parking lot in Langley – Wednesday morning.

Startled employees at the gas vendor noted that half a dozen shots were fired as two vehicles circled the pumps before heading across the street to the Tim Hortons parking lot… Ostensibly for double-doubles and timbits.

Ok. So you know how I feel about gouging at the pumps? And although this is probably frightening for the staff, doesn’t this activity serve several useful purposes?

-Gun fire at gas stations can lead to unexpected explosions… burning or killing the bad guys. That’s good, yea?
-And if gas stations become known as shooting galleries, maybe people will drive less and the price of gas will go down.

Besides. If the explosive column of flame and smoke does not slow down the mobsters then maybe the lethal dose of trans-fats at Tim Hortons will.

Vancouver area police are currently issuing this stern warning to gangsters, mobsters, crime wannabees and their cracked out Ho mistresses…

“Stop! Stop! Stop this incessant nonsense or we are going to park outside your home and allow journalists from Global-TV to ask embarrassing questions! So stop it already!”

Yea. That will work.

I have an idea. Eliminate this useless war on drugs. Legalize and regulate the hard stuff. And leave the unemployed gansta types to find a career in that other criminal realm…


Move over Gordon Campell, this homey wants a piece of the action!