Help me out here folks… (or folk. Could be I am down to my last reader. — life sucks when you are as dull as I am.)
But what do they put in Tim Horton’s doughnuts?
I know what you are thinking. What is coffee-guy doing at Tim Hortons anyway?
Yea. It is a Canadian institution. As Canadian as Lloyd Roberston. As trusted as Lisa Laflamme. It’s the beaver. You know it. You trust it.
Ok. So maybe it was the coffee.
The coffee.
Here is the deal. I eat a doughnut from Tim’s and honest-to-God, when it hits my stomach, it instantly reconstitutes itself into a whole doughnut again. Maybe it grows a bit. Maybe it shape-shifts into a Canadian-tire dime-bag of brass-screws. I don’t know.
All I know is, I feel like I have a 15 pound sinker-lead in my belly.
It’ll pass. Maybe I can walk it off.
Actually, Tim’s coffee is not that bad. If, perhaps, you compare it to Folgers or Chase & Sanborn or Post-um. It is not that bad.
There might just be a fleck or two of Robusta in there. Not sure of it but maybe.
I mean – my caffeine-ometer red-lines when I come out of there.
Could be the coffee and the maple-dip together.
Maybe I should chew more. The coffee I mean.
I chew the doughnut. Lots in fact.
Anyway – need to be careful when flirting with the desecration of a national monument.
Really. Really careful.