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Winter follies count down to Hawaii boast #3

November 29, 2008 8:36 pm / colin

Yes I am a Doctor online! Doctor InternetAs we get closer and closer to our departure for the wonderful tropical World of Polynesia… something occurs to me.
We are heading into Winter dang it and I, like many other people, are feeling ever so slightly under the weather.

Ah. Bad form on my part. I should properly introduce myself.

You know me as Colin the blogger… but to my family Doctor I am none other than Doctor Internet.

And it’s not that I spend any more time than most people diagnosing myself – because I do not. Because I never really get sick.
It’s just that I spend an inordinate amount of time diagnosing everyone else – whether I know them or not.

Example: Standing at a Bus stop downtown. Notice an elderly man that looks like he has been smoking since the age of 3. He is weathered and he is taking quick shallow breaths. What is wrong with him? Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. Emphysema. It is an easy diagnosis. I pull a Q-tip out of my white lab jacket but decide against taking a sample of his DNA.

Example: I sit over lunch with one of my coffee-foodie colleagues and comment on the sad condition of his finger nails as he tucks into his favorite bowl of Pho… Discolored and disfigured finger nail. Irritated nail bed. My diagnosis: Onychomycosis
I pull out a pad of blank paper to write a script for Terbinafine (Lamisil) and then it hits me…

I need a new stethoscope…
Seriously though. It is that time of year where half the population is sniffling and snuffling – I bet as you read this you are feeling a little tight in the chest, a little short of breath. It is ok. It is the time of the year.

Me. I wrote a prescription for my wife and I almost a year ago. It is called 2 solid weeks of tropical weather… and I get the feeling that I may have to re-write this prescription in time for next year.

Counting down the days to Hawaii, I am Colin Newell and I am NOT A DOCTOR!

Posted in: Blog cafe culture, Canadiana

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